October 11th is one of those milestone days for me each year. I was married on this day 11 years ago. 10 years and 1 day ago my now ex-husband left me. Crazy how we barely survived one year.

Last year it hit me a little more since 10 years had passed since the person I was then. 11 years later… I’m still battling with bi-polar and depression, only this time I am on meds. 11 years later I am still lost at what I am doing with my life, but I have been able to maintain working full time for the past two years, which is a big accomplishment.

From time to time I do miss the friendship I had with J. when we were together. I haven’t had a friendship like that since. However, I don’t think I would have ever reached out for the help I needed mentally if he didn’t leave me 10 years ago.

I recently watched the HBO comedy special “The Great Depress” by comedian Gary Gulman. If you have access to it I 100% recommend watching it. He shares openly about his struggle with anxiety and depression.

One of the things he says is that when people ask him if he is concerned about the side effects of medication he responds back with the side effects of depression are worse with death being one of the major side effects. That stuck with me. The side effects of depression are worse than the side effects of medication.

11 years ago at this moment I was at the church getting married (11am ceremony). Today I am sitting at a job I don’t like. However, I do think I am a better person that I was 11 years ago. I have not always made the best choices, but I am mentally more secure that I was back then.

So here are to those days that are a milestone in ones life for giving you a chance to see how far you’ve come.