I moved back to Pittsburgh, PA from Massachusetts back in July for a job. (I lived out here from 2012-2017) I moved back to be closer to the female friends I have out here. I moved back because the cost of living is cheaper than in MA. I moved back to be on my own …
Bi-Polar Support Group
Last night I went to my first mental illness support group. It was for bi-polar and depression. It is always "scary" taking that first step towards getting help no matter how many time you take that first step. Thankfully it was only a small group this week with a total of 4 of us, three …
Today Was A Good Day
Today I was filled with peace and hope. Today I got myself out of bed. Today I felt loved. There was nothing in particular that set off these feelings, but I want to make sure that I remember that not all days are days of darkness and depression. Lately that is what most of my …
It’s Been Awhile
Hi again. It's been awhile since I have written. Not that I haven't wanted to, but just the effort to turn on the computer... Since I have last written I have moved to Pittsburgh, PA for a job and to be closer to friends. I was let go from that job due to the company's …
11 Years Ago
October 11th is one of those milestone days for me each year. I was married on this day 11 years ago. 10 years and 1 day ago my now ex-husband left me. Crazy how we barely survived one year. Last year it hit me a little more since 10 years had passed since the person …
And Here Goes The Cycle Again…
I was doing fine. I felt put together. Then, like a switch getting flipped, I started to feel depressed again. I felt hopeless. I cried a lot. I wasn't actively suicidal, but had no motivation to keep going. It's been a hard year. I feel like I've been in a constant battle with occasional resting …
3 Months Later…
Three months after entering into the Birches program and two and a half month's after leaving The Birches program I am overall doing much better. The meds that I am on and that my body has adjusted to are working. While I still sink into a depression of sorts from time to time, it is …
Goodbye Birches
Today was my last day at the Birches program at Brattleboro Retreat. It has been two and a half weeks. I am not 100%. I don't think I will ever be at 100%, but I am doing better than I was when I drove into the campus on June 4th. I have to keep reminding …
Poem: “I Bend”
I bend but do not break. I've been lost, but I'm not a loser. I'm a wreck, but I'm not totaled. I'm fractured but not broken. I've failed, but I'm not a failure. I've fallen hard but can get up again. I'm isolated, but still I'm free. I have been destroyed but will rebuild. My …
I Still Have A Lot of Fight in Me
I've been at the Brattleboro Retreat Center since Tuesday. The out patient program called Birches runs Monday - Friday. I'm in the full day program from 9:00am to 3:00pm. I'm also staying over nights there at their "dorms" in the Ripley Building. I was nervous coming up here, but since I've been here I have …
My Life With Mental Illness 