"Courage is doing what you are afraid of. There is no courage unless you are scared." - Eddie Rickenbacker After some thought I decided to get help at the Brattleboro Retreat Center in Brattleboro, VT starting on Tuesday. I am accepted into the outpatient day program and will also be staying there over nights since …
Getting Help- But What Kind
As I mentioned before, my depression is back full swing. I do have pockets of hope, but overall feelings of darkness and death. I know I need help, but what kind of help do I need? How do I find the best help for me with the place I am currently in? Is there even …
It Has Been Awhile
It has been awhile since I have blogged. Not because I haven't wanted to, but because my best thoughts are usually when I am lying in bed at night. I am finally on a new medication that seems to be gradually working as the dosage has slowly increased. I am not as depressed as before …
Today is My Birthday
Today is my 39th birthday. I did it. I survived the year! At times it did not seem like I would. I think of birthdays as not just a time to celebrate another year older, but a time to look back at the year I just survived. I am away in North Carolina this weekend. …
Feeling Better :)
I've been on Wellbutrin for just over a week now and I am feeling better. I was on this back in 2007 and broke out into hives. At least I think it was from the medication. It could have been something else like a heat rash from where I was living at the time. It …
Song: I Won’t Let Go
I have a small extended family.On my mom's side one aunt (lives in Ft. Lauderdale) and one uncle (who passed away last year and lived in Seattle). No cousins. My dad has two sisters, both married. Three cousins total between the two of them. They are all spread out as well between central and northern …
The Anxiety Monster
The past week the "anxiety monster" has come back into my life. While I have experienced moments of anxiety over the years since being on meds, I haven't had full blown anxiety attacks. But that has changed. I know that it is due to being overwhelmed at work added to my already struggles with anxiousness …
Lacking Desire
I long for the day when I will become passionate and energized about life again. Each day that comes is just another day of survival. Sure, there are good moments and moments that burst with a blast of energy, but overall it's just going through the motions and no real desire to live or to …
“I Will Survive and Keep on Surviving”
"I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna to give up, I'm not gonna give stop, I'm gonna work harder. I'm a survivor, I'm going to make it. I will survive, keep on surviving. " - song 'Survivor' by Destiny's Child. This song just played on our office radio. I could care less about the rest of the song; the chorus above just stuck out to me. Also these lyrics below I never caught before: "Now I dun' been through the storm …
My Life With Mental Illness 